I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
