Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
