There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
