i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
