I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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