Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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