Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
