I'm going to jail i love you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
