btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
