Me too!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
