Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize