Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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