my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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