Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
