I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize