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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans

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• (707): View more from California

  get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"

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• (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?

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• (661): View more from California

  I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.

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• (323): View more from California

  I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.

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