Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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