I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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