If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Less talking, more tequila
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize