just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize