Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
