I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
