best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
