I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize