i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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