Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
