I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just high enough for therapy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
