he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
