We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
