Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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