Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
dude. I can hear the air.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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