we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
