Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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