Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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