he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
