The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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