With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
