i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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