You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
