I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
