guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize