but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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