Can Purell be used as lube?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
