We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
