its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
