Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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