Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i used baking grease as lip gloss
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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