I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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