you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
