ugly people sure do ruin things
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love you. Go after that dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
