Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The power of my boobs compel you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
