Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
