So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
