Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
