I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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