he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
