apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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