All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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