Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
