there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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