whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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