It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
