Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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