i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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