This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize