You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
