Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
