It's Friday. Sex?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize