wanna go halves on a baby?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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