you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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