It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
