Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize