surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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