There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
