i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize