I have demons in me.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
