I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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