Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize