they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i used baking grease as lip gloss
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
