im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
