Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
