I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
