if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
