Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
