That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
