Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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