Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
