Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
