I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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